The Fingolstones Firemen
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The Arsehole Club. 

The earliest known photograph of the Arsehole Club.
L To R. Feargal, Dobba, Matthew (Joannes brother) Iain Davies, Nick Flaxman, Norbert (writhing in agony after being hit in the nads with the football), Claire Davies, Booga and Joanne Hodgson.
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When Dobba, Booga and Norbert were in the 6th Form they discovered girls. This was via Iain Davies who had a GIRLFRIEND, yep a real live one. She was called Joanne and they were all very jealous. Iain decided to have a party one Christmas in 1986 round at his house and some real live girls were going to be there. Back in those days they were all very naive and all the girls sat in one room and all the boys in another. It was only right at the end of the night after 3 cans of Kestrel that they actually got together to talk. Norbert regrets the night due to an unfortunate experience with a girl called Snoopy whom he had met via his CB radio (the internet chat room of its time).
Following the party the girls and boys would all meet after school outside Martins newsagents (now WH Smith) in the precinct. This was due to the fact that they all went to single sex schools so didn't mix during the day. Joanne lived in the big house in Queens park so they all used to gather there of an evening, especially in the summer when after closing they would have the park to themselves.
It was whilst stood outside Martins one day that Billy Gratton turned up and uttered the classic line "You look like a bunch of arseholes" and thus the Arsehole Club was born (Billy was only jealous because we never asked him to join). In some ways the Arsehole Club was a bit like a religious cult as there was loads of partner swapping went on, sadly unlike a religious cult it was always pretty innocent.
The original arseholes were Dobba, Booga, Norbert, Iain Davies, Andrew "Feargal" Stoppard, Peter Stoppard, Nick Flaxman, Claire Davies, Joanne Hodgson and Jenny Fry. Over the span of its brief existence other members would join the club, Frank Stubbs, Andy Farnsworth, Goffy, Jez Lowe, Sara Vaughan, Hayley Daykin, Karen Mellors, Louise Roberts, Angela Priest, Lyndsey Gregory, Vanessa Case, Rachel Hibbert, Samantha Bloor and Anthony Spencer.
The club could never sustain its initial impetus especially as they grew up and found work, university and friends outside the circle.
The Arsehole Club or AHC is very important in the evolution of the Fingolstones, it was where they drew their inspiration from and who their songs were about. Which when you think about it goes a long way towards explaining why none of the girls talk to the Fingolstones boys anymore.


Some Arsehole Club members who never actually appeared in any songs.

Anthony Spencer

Although his girlfriend Vanessa attended loads of AHC meetings he only did rarely. Was perhaps a bit to mature to hang around with the rest of us plebs.
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The quiet man.

Rachel Hibbert

Andy Farnsworth once said he would consider going out with Rachel as she had a nice personality. Guess what he never did, can't imagine why.


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"Nice Personality"

Nick Flaxman
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Nick was a founder member of the AHC joined the Fingolstones on their 1988 tour of Torquay. He is most famous for trying to undermine the relationships of AHC members by telling tales behind their backs. If one of the lads cracked off with a lass other than their AHC girlfriend and Nick got to know about it he would tell them. Thus breaking the lads code of what they don't know won't hurt them. Because of this he was shunned by both sex's, after all no one likes a grass.
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Grass!

Frank Stubbs

Frank was actually a proper musician and played in a proper band (albeit a brass one). If only he had been asked to join the band he could have added a whole new dimension to the Fingolstones with a horn section. Once invited the Fingolstones to see him perform at a concert in Alfreton, however it turned out to be at the local secondary school, pity the Charmer wasn't there, he'd have had a field day.
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He could have been the saviour of the Fingolstones, but wasn't.

Peter Stoppard

Brother of Feargal, Peter had a soft spot for Jenny and it made him sad that losers such as Dobba and Norbert could win her heart. When Bryan Ferry recorded the John Lennon classic Jealous Guy, poor old Peter had it sung at him at every opportunity. A dedicated vegetarian and humanitarian Peter some how found the strength to forgive Daz for throwing up in his bed. Now happily married he has has recently written a book called 1001 ways to cook lentils and gives all the profits to Save the Whale.
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Hippy.

Vanessa Case.

Vanessa was the girlfriend of Anthony Spencer who lived next door to the Stoppards. Thus she and her friend Sam Bloor became AHC club members. Not very memorable really and I can think of nothing interesting to say about her whatsoever. Nice lass though.
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“Interesting"

Samantha Bloor

Heavy metal rock chick who in later life would become a text book gem. Norbert had a brief fling with her including a very memorable evening in the back of her mini at Stanedge Edge. Norbert showed how fickle he was back then by finishing with her because she didn't wear a belt with her jeans (or so he says, she probably dumped him).
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"Rock Chick"

Andrew "Feargal" Stoppard

Called Feargal due to his uncanny resemblance to the lead singer of the Undertones, the great Feargal Sharkey. He was the oldest member of the AHC although by no means the most mature he was something of a father figure to the lads and lasses. His dream woman in the days of the AHC was Louise Handley who is now married to Nessie, oh what a small world it is. During Norberts infamous 1986 party Feargal decided that he wanted to go and stand outside Louises house in the hope of catching a glimpse. However as it was 2 o'clock in the morning and all sane people were in bed he never got his wish.Feargal hosted some of the greatest AHC parties of the day including one in which Daz Shields threw up in Feargals brothers bed. No one could ever quite work out why he was in that bed but still. After a stint living away from his beloved Chessie Feargal returned with a wife and kids and now lives happily with his family and Iron Maiden collection.
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The resemblance is uncanny.

Dave Barker.

Although Dave was never actually a fully fledged member of the Possee he somehow found his way into The Possee Song. A big bruiser of a man Dave was also a quiet and thoughtful chap. Played for the Salty Club in their early days. This picture of him was taken on the away end at Blackpool in 1986, amazingly at the time he wasn't known to any of the AHC (this was the days before the Possee). It was only some years later that he was spotted lurking in the background of a photo of Norbert and Booga.


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Dave Barker, Blackpool 1986.

Paul "Bucko" Buxton.

Inventor of the "Fashion Shirt" some say Bucko was the most stylish member of the Possee. His trademark look of Fashion Shirt, Your Price Cords and Ruby Slippers had the top designers of the late 80's and early 90's clamouring for his signature. Among the top names after his unique skills were Leo Gemmelli, Gallini, Chevron and Gills of Chesterfield. Unfortunately his designs were to radical even for these giants of the fashion industry and he now finds gainful employment selling programmes at the away end every other Saturday.
Two classic video’s of Bucko in action.
Bucko models an early Fashion Shirt.
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Ian Ashton.

Big Ash was a bustling centre forward from the old school and played for Norberts Sunday league side "Saltergate Club". He later progressed to player manager before hanging up his boots when he got to old and slow. He combined these duties with being a barman at the Salty itself and soon had his own catchphrase of "right outside now" which he would utter at anyone he even remotely considered to be disrespectful. No one ever did go outside with him, after all he was a big bloke and would probably have killed us. Now works at Tesco Express and can often be found shouting "right outside now" at little old ladies.
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A real man mountain, no one messed with Big Ash. 

Marcus "Bentley Boy" Bentley.

Bentley Boy was a possee member with a mission. That mission was to live in as many different places in as short a period of time as possible. It is rumoured that the reason he moved around so much was that he was in witness protection, something to do with a credit card scam? The truth may never be known. His places of abode were as diverse as Canada and Stanfree, York and Sheffield. Known, like The Charmer, for his shocking barnet and ropey schmutter he may have been, but you could always guarantee a good night out when the Bentley Boy was in town. A bit of a ladies man to (perhaps that's why he moved around so much, lot's of little Bentley Boys running around, who knows) he was never backward at coming forward and was very fortunate to escape death when confronted by the partner of one of his ex's in a Chessie Chippy. No longer a resident of Chez Vegas he does make the occasional pilgrimage to the home of football that is the B2Net but he remains somewhat  a man of mystery. If he was a dog he'd be The Littlest Hobo.

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Bentley Boy (far left) in party mood with Nessie and Norbert, Crete 1996.
Bentley Boy was a great lover of cars and changed his ride as often as he did his underpants. Driving such classics as a Lancia (which he abandoned and left to rot outside the Bradbury Club) and a Mini to name but two. None of his rides were ever insured and most of the time he didn't even have a driving licence. The car he is pictured with here was insured as it belonged to Norbert and is a classic 1986 Vauxhall Cavalier. It is rumoured that he was asked to be a co presenter on Top Gear but unfortunately he thought Top Gear meant a naff half white half orange top from Next and a pair of Adidas Kick trainers.
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Andrew "Bunny" Bunting.

Possee member Bunny was well known for his love of pies, pizza and all foods of a junk variety. His impressive 62.78.70 figure was the envy of many a Sumo Wrestler. Despite his bulk he was surprisingly nimble (in the same way a baby elephant is nimble) and used his athleticism to great effect as the goalkeeper for the Saltergate Club football team. His main failing in that role was his ability to concede own goals when the ball was passed back to him by one of his own players. This inspired a song about him to be called "Don't Pass Back To Bunting" based on the Oasis song "Don't Look Back In Anger". The song got it's first public airing in a karaoke bar in Ibiza when it was performed by Norbert and Top. Unfortunately they were booed off stage and it was never committed to tape. Nowadays Bunny leads a quiet life running a public house in Skegness and pie testing for Pukka.
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Bunny in typical pose devouring a Big Mac. A little known fact is that he won the 1993 World Big Mac eating championships. In fact the competition had to be abandoned when they ran out of Big Macs. Bunny celebrated the win by going to McDonalds for a Big Mac and large fries.
Bunny was always a ladies man and in this picture we see him with a young Welsh lady whose name escapes me. Well he says it was a lady, personally I think it's Mark Hughes in drag. The other young lady was a massive Fingolstones fan called Vicky who was chuffed to bits to meet her hero Norbert (who later broke her heart, the bastard).
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