Ian "Cratch" Cratchley.
Semi-professional footballing star Cratch was an associate member of the AHC. His tight schedule of football training left him with little time for roaming the bars looking for ladies, and his youthful features meant that he often had trouble getting into them anyway. A few false-starts with AHC birds were cruelly recorded by the Fingolstones.
Cratch went to Sheffield Poly so that he could combine his studies with playing for MatlockTown. Subsequently became Quality Manager at a local widget factory and now his playing days are over has settled down to married life.
A glum-faced Cratch receives another letter informing him that he has be given the Spanish Archer.
A very rare photo of Cratch taken during his professional footballing days. He is front row, second from left.
Jenny is probably the most famous of The Charmers conquests. A sweet innocent underage school girl when she fell into The Charmers deadly clutches. Wooed by his dashing good looks she fell under his spell only to have her heart broken when she reached 16 and was cast aside for a younger model by the heartless womaniser that The Charmer was. It is believed that Jenny now lives in York and is still undergoing intensive therapy in order to finally put her traumatic past behind her.
STOP PRESS. A furious and angry Jenny Clixby (now called Saxton) has recently got in touch with the author of this completely historically accurate tome to inform him that it was her that dumped The Charmer and not the other way round. However she was writing from Ward 3 of the North Yorkshire Hospital For The Criminally Insane so her words must be taken with a pinch of salt. The Charmer getting dumped ? It'd never happen.
Jenny Clixby as she is today. It is not believed that the baby is The Charmers. Although if Charmers sperm had the same pace as him on a football pitch then anything is possible.
The Deaf and Dumb Lass.
Sadly the true identity of the Deaf and Dumb Lass is lost to history. In her day she was a legendary figure in the Chesterfield night time social scene of the late 1980's early 90's. She could often be seen walking around and bumping into things that weren't there whilst talking to herself (mouth would move, no words came out, she was dumb see). This would be followed by her trying to get into the pants of every single bloke she encountered, she wasn't fussy either. She even had Plumby once but that’s another story entirely.
Then she disappeared and after years of wondering what happened to her Norbert encountered her in a pub in Buxton when as part of his official duties he was asked to eject her from the establishment. Needless to say she hadn't changed but after some considerable effort she was put on a train to Stockport. She is probably still terrorising the good folk of Bramall and Wilmslow to this day, she may even be a footballers wife.
Obviously this isn’t the Deaf and Dumb
lass but she did look a bit like this.
Hayley "Daykey Poo" Daykin.
The first and possibly only true love of Boogas life. When they first got together is seemed to be for life but Boogas heavy drinking and womanising pushed the young Hayley to the edge. Despite the intense feelings of love she had for him she realised that he was nothing but an alcoholic loser and had no choice but to bin him. He never recovered from the rejection and spiralled into the depths of depravity, leaving him the shambling wreck of a man that he is today.
Hayley Daykey Poo with Booga at Dobba’s 18th.
The Chesterfield Bastard Squad ... I kid you not. Chesterfield's own band of football hooligans (makes you so proud). Support of Chesterfield FC optional, wearing of Burberry essential.
Zigger Zagger Zigger Zagger
Some football hooligans from the CBS (or not).
It is a little known fact that the Burberry is actually an old Scottish tartan from the clan McJolley of Lanarkshire. In the mid-nineteenth century mad Jock McJolley was a successful prize-fighter and he and his second, Henry Lloyd, were much feared. It was they who caused the 30 minutes delay to the start of the first FA Cup Final at the Oval in 1872, running onto the pitch to plant one on the referee, then mooning at the Duchess of Kent, before finally piling into the Old Etonians fans gathered behind the goal (both McJolley and Lloyd having attended Harrow). In his memoirs former Prime Minister Lord Palmerston blamed McJolley and Lloyd for single-handedly starting the Crimean War after a fracas following a pre-season friendly.
Claire Howard nee Jones nee Davies.
One of the founder members of the Arsehole Club and sister of Iain. She caused great controversy in the early days of the Possee by getting together with wild man Jonah and even coming on Possee nights out. Their blazing rows being legendary with Claire giving as good as she got. They eventually got married but it was doomed to end in disaster as his taste for beef products got the better of him. In a final attempt to escape Welsh Surnames she married someone called Howard.
Claire beams with joy after her divorce
from Jonah finally comes through.
A founder member of the AHC, Iain lived in a big house, ideal for early AHC parties. He went from mild mannered scholarly type with blonde highlights (or pigeon shit as it was more commonly known) to long haired heavy metal freak in the space of 2 years. Also a bit of a ladies man in his day, despite having girly hair. His burgeoning romance with Lyndsey Gregory being the inspiration for Ballad Of The Gypsy Queen
Long haired freak.
70's footballer and erstwhile manager of the mighty Spireites. Most notable for constantly being told to "sit down" by the fans on the kop.