The Fingolstones Firemen
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    • Buddies >
      • Buddies - A Critique
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      • CBS Song
      • The Abandoned Motorbike Thieves
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    • Captain Whistles Lonely Farts Club Band >
      • Captain Whistle - A Critique
      • The Possee Song
      • Hard Luck Rob
      • Yeah Well But
      • Yo Foxy
      • Scandinavian Homesick Blues
      • Walking Through Birdholme
      • Don't You Want Me
      • Don't You Want Me (Remix)
      • The Foxy Rap
      • Obscene 1990 (Lawsons Song)
      • Sean Boyles Austin Maxi
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      • Hotel St Augustines
      • Sharon
      • Sara's Revenge
    • Fingolstones For Sale >
      • Fingolstones For Sale - A Critique
      • Back In 86
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      • 1985 & All That
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      • Shaven Haven
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    • The Fingolstones Sell Out >
      • The Fingolstones Sell Out - A Critique
      • Crackwhore
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      • Pale Blue Dream Machine
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      • Striker (Not A Full Back)
      • We All Love Chez Vegas
      • Sad Old Queen
      • Holmewood Bound
      • In Da (Salty) Club
      • The Bird Wi Massive Tits
      • Dobba Stardust
    • Ballarse >
      • Ballarse - A Critique
      • Daz's Pants
      • The Dawdog
      • Frisky In The Bar
      • 8 Pints
      • The Ballad Of Booga Benson
      • Writing Songs (No One Wants To Hear)
      • Jimmy Savile Never Loved Me
      • Jamie
      • Biggie
      • Goth Girl
      • Clearly Something
      • Group 2 Song
    • The Age Of Aquarius >
      • The Age Of Aquarius a Critique
      • 20th Century Forbidden Love
      • Don't You Want Me (2020 Redux)
      • The Charmer Of The Salty
      • Lightweight Lager Lad
      • Lucy
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'Look on my works ye mighty and despair'.   Such indeed are the words that are brought to mind by this the second and to date the final album by Fingolstones Firemen.   Following mixed reviews of their first album Buddies, released on cassette in 1987, the Fingolstones had gone their separate ways.   Norbert had secured a career in local government as a filing clerk and tea-boy and Dobba had opted to study 16th century history, existentialism, and their relevance to the fact that he couldn't pull a muscle.   On Dobba's return from LancasterUniversity in 1990, however, they were reunited.   The ineluctable and regrettable consequence of successive Friday nights out over the next year was the decision for the Fingolstones to reform and attempt to capture once more the zeitgeist of a generation.   



Norbert and Dobba were older, if no wiser, however, and their experiences informed their writing.   Both had finally lost their virginity, though not to each other I hasten to add, and both had finally managed to hold down a relationship with a girl for longer than 25 minutes (unheard of in the days of the AHC).   Their lyrics evinced their growing maturity, shot-through as they were with thinly-veiled misogynism, crassness and vulgarity.   Classic tales of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy runs into girl's friend/sister/mother round town one Friday and ends up having a quick fumble with her up the back of Kwik-Save.   This was the Chesterfield that Shakespeare, Dickens and Tennyson didn't write about.   In many ways the Fingolstones' lyrics were prefigured by the 17th century metaphysical poets.   But who could compare Donne's Valediction forbidding mourning to the rhythmic genius of 'But you turned into a lard-ass and you're spotty and you're ugly and you smell of wee'.

The songs were recorded over three separate sessions.   Sean Boyle’s Austin Maxi, a diatribe on the perils and pitfalls of British
Leyland car-ownership in the early 1990s, was recorded first shortly after Dobba’s return from university.   This song, like many of their earlier numbers, featured just Dobba’s guitar and Norbert's vocals but as before neither could avoid the temptation of getting other people embroiled into their sordid little world.   With more new songs ready for recording a second session/booze up was organised round at Dobba’s parents’ house whilst they were away on holiday.   Dobba and Norbert were joined for the recording by Rob Shields, a former cabaret singer and bon viveur, and Andrew Fox, a female impersonator of no fixed abode.   Shields' melodic tones brought an increased dimension to the Fingolstones' sound and the live recordings were enhanced by the metronomic clack of Foxy's prosthetic gonads as he go-go danced around the living room/recording studio; a Bez to Shields' Ryder.   A final session with former Fingolstone Dave ‘Booga’ Benson on backing-vocals saw Streets of Birdholme, Hotel St Augustines and Sharon safely in the can.

This was the band at the height of their powers.   A startling statement of mediocrity in light of the evidence.   Norbert's flirtation with electro-pop, a sort of Kraftwerk meets Rolf Harris, alerted many new bands to the possibilities of the Bontempi MiniSynth Mk2 and sales never recovered.   The cacophonous, discordant twang of Dobba's 12-string on Streets of Birdholme recalls the Byrds. In particular their fateful gig at the
Bolton Empire when someone threw his clog at Jim McGuinn's guitar.   For Scandinavian Homesick Blues Dobba and Norbert swapped roles, Dobba providing the vocal and Norbert playing the guitar.   The result still sends shivers down the spine.   After many minutes spent thinking of an album title the Fingolstones decided on Captain Whistle’s Lonely Farts Club Band.   The eponymous Captain Whistle signifying the Fingolstones’ two hopes of success both with music and women.

Unfortunately Fingolstones Firemen were unable to live up to even the limited promise of Captain Whistle’s.   Both Booga and Dobba’s search for a long-term nest led them to
North Nottinghamshire and their time was spent commiserating over the spiralling decline of NottinghamForest.   Norbert joined the police and was obliged to keep his distance from his former friends in case he felt obliged to report their nefarious activities to the authorities.   Shields, disillusioned by the music-business and Tenants Super, became a sous-chef for Uncle Tom Cobbleigh, and Foxy returned to his shallow and empty existence as an international playboy.

The controversial album cover was designed by Andy Warhol and Brian Cant. It attempts to show the loneliness and isolation felt by Barney McGrew after he refused to take part in the infamous Trumpton Fire Strike of 1972. When the strike finished the rest of the crew refused to speak to him for nearly 5 years. 

It was only after the great Windmill fire of 1977 when Barney saved the life of Hugh Pugh, who had become caught on one of the windmills sails, that the rest of the crew forgave him.

This was of course the fire that resulted in Windy Miller getting 10yrs for insurance fraud.



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Captain Whistle’s Lonely Farts Club Band cover art. 
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Album insert.

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Rear cover.

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