The Fingolstones Firemen
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    • Ballarse >
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      • Daz's Pants
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      • The Age Of Aquarius a Critique
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Picture
Norbert - Guitar. Drums, Bass, Organ (ooer missus)
 Daz's Pants like many great songs is based on a true story.
The Daz in question being Dazmundo Jolley former resident of Chez Vegas before upping sticks and moving darn sarf to the big smoke.
One of the main reasons for the move was to escape the crime ridden Picadilly sink estate in which he found himself residing following his fall from grace as a top Aldi supermarket designer. He was accused of plagiarism and sued when one his designs inadvertently resembled the Manor Top branch of Netto. Forced from his beloved vocation he was forced into a compact and bijou apartment next to the Chesterfield Canal, a haunt of local rogues, ruffians and crack heads.
​During a disturbing sneak in burglary Daz's rucksack was stolen containing only a pair of smelly old kecks. The motive for this crime has been discussed by eminent criminologists at the University of Barnsley. Many theories have been discussed and discounted but Daz remains convinced it was his ex missus Wagbo, who having failed to take his house from him during a bitter break up, took the next best thing, his skiddy grundies.
Regardless of the reasons for this heinous crime a traumatised Daz fled to the sound of Bow Bells where he now makes a living designing walk in sporran wardrobes for exiled Scotsmen
. 
Picture
A pensive looking Daz pictured on a train heading darn sarf to his new life.

The Police issued a photo of the stolen budgie smugglers but sadly they were never found.
Picture
Picture
Down on Picadilly
Lives a man called Jolley
Went out training one night
Got kinda hot and sweaty
His pants were damp and smelly
Stinking like his arse crack
Left em by his back door
Rotting in his rucksack

Woke up early next day
Thought he'd go a runnin
But his pants had all gone away
​Never saw it comin
Who would steal his pants
Maybe it was Wagbo
You can take a mans house
But baby leave his pants alone

Oh man where did those pants go
Oh he was hunting high and low
Trying to solve the mystery
But baby it was plain to see
Yeah
You know what I'm going to say
They just got up and walked away

Down on Picadiily
Sits a man called Jolley
Wonderin where his pants have gone
Feelin melancholy
Oh Daz you know that you shunt
Have told all your mates this
Cos you know they'll just laugh out loud
Sit around and take the piss

Oh man where did those pants go
Oh he was hunting high and low
Yeah
Trying to solve the mystery
But baby it was plain to see
You know what I'm going to say
They just got up and walked away



Picture
Wagbo. Prime suspect or innocent patsy?
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