The Fingolstones Firemen
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Norbert - Vocals
Jo Callis - Synth
Phillip Wright - Synth
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Not a lot to say about this track really as it is the third version of a track first recorded in 1990. Two versions were laid down in one session back then, heavy drinking session that is and to be honest they were all over the place. Dobbas keyboard skills showed just why he should have stuck to the guitar and Daz's vocals are hopelessly out of tune and flat.

Norbert was never happy with the song and so in 2020 he drafted in Jo Callis and Phillip Wright from the Human League to lay down a backing track whilst Norbert channelled his inner Phil Oakey and crooned the slightly revised lyrics.

Despite the rise in quality of the tune it didn't go down well with the fans. Super fan Marcus "Bentley Boy" Bentley simply said "I preferred the original" whilst Uber fan Paul "Goffy" Gofton had this to say; "Bugger off and leave me alone or I'm calling the Police".

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​In 1992 Norbert signed for his local club and boyhood heroes Chesterfield F.C. it was only after a disastrous first training session in which he constantly fell over, miskicked the ball and had to constantly drag on his inhaler that the manager Paul Hart realised he had signed Lee Richards from the Salty Club and not Blackburn Rovers midfielder Lee Richardson. 
Hart was sacked shortly after.
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Also signed by mistake at the same time was "local lad" John Furniss. At the press conference Hart announced how pleased he was to sign Sheffield Utds Fred Furniss until Alan Biggs from Radio Sheffield pointed out that Fred Furniss had actually retired from playing in 1955.

You were working as a barman
In the Salty Club when I met you
You picked me out, You trained me up
And turned me around
When I didn’t have a clue
Now, five years later on
I’ve got the world at my feet
I’m playing centre forward for Salty
I won’t forget it's you
Who put me where I am now
But you said my first touch were faulty


Don't, don't you want me?
You know, I can't believe it
When you say that I am piss poor
Don't, don't you want me?
You know, I cant believe it
When you threw me out the front door


Now you’re trying to get rid
Said you’d rather play a flid
I‘ve the pace of a bin lid
And the fitness of Foxy
Don't you want me, Ashton
Don't you want me Laws
Don't you want me, Lard Ass
Don't you want me, oh

I was working as a Barman
In the Salty Club, that much is true
But even then I knew
I'd find a much better player
In the monkey cage at the zoo
The five games you had
You were so useless , we lost em all
But now I think it's time
You found another club
Cos you don’t know how to kick a ball

Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it
When I hear that you won’t pick me

Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you
When you say I play like Shieldsy



My barnets not that bad
My Schmutters not that sad
Don’t know the rules of offside
So I can’t run line


Don't you want me, Ashton
Don't you want me, Laws
Don't you want me, Lard Ass
Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me, Ashton
Don't you want me, Ashton
Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me, Lawson
Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me, Lawson
Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me, Ashton
Don't you want me, oh






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