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Norbert - Vocals
Jo Callis - Synth Phillip Wright - Synth |
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Not a lot to say about this track really as it is the third version of a track first recorded in 1990. Two versions were laid down in one session back then, heavy drinking session that is and to be honest they were all over the place. Dobbas keyboard skills showed just why he should have stuck to the guitar and Daz's vocals are hopelessly out of tune and flat.
Norbert was never happy with the song and so in 2020 he drafted in Jo Callis and Phillip Wright from the Human League to lay down a backing track whilst Norbert channelled his inner Phil Oakey and crooned the slightly revised lyrics. Despite the rise in quality of the tune it didn't go down well with the fans. Super fan Marcus "Bentley Boy" Bentley simply said "I preferred the original" whilst Uber fan Paul "Goffy" Gofton had this to say; "Bugger off and leave me alone or I'm calling the Police". 
In 1992 Norbert signed for his local club and boyhood heroes Chesterfield F.C. it was only after a disastrous first training session in which he constantly fell over, miskicked the ball and had to constantly drag on his inhaler that the manager Paul Hart realised he had signed Lee Richards from the Salty Club and not Blackburn Rovers midfielder Lee Richardson.
Hart was sacked shortly after. 
Also signed by mistake at the same time was "local lad" John Furniss. At the press conference Hart announced how pleased he was to sign Sheffield Utds Fred Furniss until Alan Biggs from Radio Sheffield pointed out that Fred Furniss had actually retired from playing in 1955.
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You were working as a barman
In the Salty Club when I met you You picked me out, You trained me up And turned me around When I didn’t have a clue Now, five years later on I’ve got the world at my feet I’m playing centre forward for Salty I won’t forget it's you Who put me where I am now But you said my first touch were faulty Don't, don't you want me? You know, I can't believe it When you say that I am piss poor Don't, don't you want me? You know, I cant believe it When you threw me out the front door Now you’re trying to get rid Said you’d rather play a flid I‘ve the pace of a bin lid And the fitness of Foxy Don't you want me, Ashton Don't you want me Laws Don't you want me, Lard Ass Don't you want me, oh I was working as a Barman In the Salty Club, that much is true But even then I knew I'd find a much better player In the monkey cage at the zoo The five games you had You were so useless , we lost em all But now I think it's time You found another club Cos you don’t know how to kick a ball Don't, don't you want me? You know I can't believe it When I hear that you won’t pick me Don't, don't you want me? You know I don't believe you When you say I play like Shieldsy My barnets not that bad My Schmutters not that sad Don’t know the rules of offside So I can’t run line Don't you want me, Ashton Don't you want me, Laws Don't you want me, Lard Ass Don't you want me, oh Don't you want me, Ashton Don't you want me, Ashton Don't you want me, oh Don't you want me, Lawson Don't you want me, oh Don't you want me, Lawson Don't you want me, oh Don't you want me, Ashton Don't you want me, oh |
