Vocals - Norbert
Keyboards - Dobba 

Yet another tale of unrequited love. This time that between future Fingolstone "Daz" Shields and sister of Gwegory, Samantha Harrison.
Sam was the classic unobtainable fantasy figure that the likes of Daz could only dream about. For he was to old, to ugly, to bizarre and most of all his barnet at the time was truly shocking.
The song features the re introduction of the electronic keyboard into the Fingolstones music. Last used in 1987's "Jack the Ripper", the board was rediscovered covered in dust and being used as a doorstop by Norberts mum. A quick rub down with Mr Sheen and it was ready to go.
An all electronic affair, the song fits neatly the early 90's electro bop scene. It was rumoured that Stock Aitken and Waterman were interested in remixing the raw electro funk mix of Hard Luck Rob and re releasing it as a dance number.
The rumour was of course b******s and probably came about after a heavy Holsten Pils drinking session in The Avenue.

The song has lost none of its charm over the years and the moral still rings true today ie if you think a bird is out of your league, then she probably is. Unfortunately many young folk have been lead to believe that a winning personality will always win over looks. This myth has been perpetrated by countless Hollywood movies. The fact remains though that if you are a fat bloater then your bird/bloke will also be a fat bloater. Likewise if you look like a cross between Shergar and the lead singer of the Charlatans you've got no chance of pulling Samantha Harrison. 

Daz demonstrates just why he had 2 Hopes of pulling Sam Harrison. 

Rob Shields he had a passion
Rob Shields he had a quest
He wanted Samantha Harrison
To come and be his nest

Each weekend he ventured in hope
Around the town on the pull
But really he had as much chance
As Sheff U of signing Steve Bull

She never acknowledged or saw him
It was if he didn't exist
So he'd stand pint in hand in the corner
And get himself totally pissed

He'd walk home from town heavyhearted
And a tear would roll down his cheek
But he wouldn't give up on young Sammy
And he'd try again p'raps next week

Week after week he'd pursue her
But he never got round to a bid
He'd open his mouth but in vain
Just like that deaf and dumb kid

On Sunday morning at football Rob cried
And young Greg said Shieldsy what’s wrong
"Oh why oh why can't I pull your fit sister"
"Because" said Greg "Your feet bleeding pong"