Dobba - Guitar
Norbert - Vocals
Booga - Vocals 

The penultimate song recorded by the Fingolstones at their highly successful 1992 session. Again Dobbas 12 string work is beyond reproach and the harmonies of Booga and Norbert come together superbly.

The inspiration is of course The Eagles classic, Hotel California, again amended to fit in with the Fingolstones world. The song is much darker than the usual Fingolstones work. It takes the listener into a dangerous world of violence, adultery and male prostitution, a shadowy void where even the Fingolstones feared to tread. Dobba confessed that after performing the song he would often break out in cold sweats and have nightmares about becoming a rent boy. Although he also confessed he wouldn't have minded being a gigolo. Alas for Dobba he was rejected by the Gigolos union for being to hirsute.

After the song was released the band received a writ issued by St Augustines & Birdholme Parish Council demanding that they stop denigrating the area in their work. The band responded by pointing out all the free publicity they were getting and also that you couldn't sue for telling the truth. The writ was withdrawn and the song became the unofficial anthem of the PeoplesRepublic of Birdholme.

The real St Augustine who quite appropriately is the Patron Saint of Brewers.

On a dark Derby highway
Fag smoke in my hair
Warm smell of the chip shop
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a violent fight
My head grew heavy and my site grew dim
As someone punched out my lights.

There she stood in the coalhouse
I heard the front door bell
And I was thinking to myself
I've got a rash on my dingly dell
Then she lit up a woodbine
And she showed me a crack
I heard a noise down the Derby Road
I saw her old man were back.

Welcome to the Hotel St Augustines
Such a horrible place
Such an Ugly face
Welcome to the Hotel St Augustines
You won't wanna stay
Any tine of day.

I went an hid in the bathroom
I feared crazy scenes
In a pile in the corner
Were gay magazines
All the pages stuck together
So I prised them apart
Then her old man bust the door down
Gave me quite a start.

I think her old man is twisted
I think he's definitely bent
He's got a lot of pretty pretty boys
He lets out for rent
Then he asked me to be one
So I told him to shite
But he said he'd give me 50 quid
So I'm available tonight.

Welcome to the Hotel St Augustines
Such a horrible place
Such an Ugly face
Welcome to the Hotel St Augustines
Any time of year
You can find a queer.