The Fingolstones Firemen
  • Home
  • The Band
    • Who Are The Fingolstones
    • Dobba
    • Norbert
    • Booga
    • Daz
    • The Charmer
    • Jeeves
  • The Albums
    • Album Art
    • Buddies >
      • Buddies - A Critique
      • Drunken Reddish
      • Obscene (Gregs Song)
      • Ballad Of The Gypsy Queen
      • Skeggy Market
      • Captain Flak
      • Country Flak
      • The Pulling Song
      • Woody Song
      • Sheep Shagging Blues
      • Medley
      • Look Out Boy
      • Nightmare Of You
      • Jack The Ripper
      • Lonesome Farmer Bill
      • Lost Jezemy
      • Anarchy In Room 21
      • Stairway To Intrest
      • CBS Song
      • The Abandoned Motorbike Thieves
      • The Ballad Of Sara And Goffy
    • Captain Whistles Lonely Farts Club Band >
      • Captain Whistle - A Critique
      • The Possee Song
      • Hard Luck Rob
      • Yeah Well But
      • Yo Foxy
      • Scandinavian Homesick Blues
      • Walking Through Birdholme
      • Don't You Want Me
      • Don't You Want Me (Remix)
      • The Foxy Rap
      • Obscene 1990 (Lawsons Song)
      • Sean Boyles Austin Maxi
      • Streets Of Birdholme
      • Hotel St Augustines
      • Sharon
      • Sara's Revenge
    • Fingolstones For Sale >
      • Fingolstones For Sale - A Critique
      • Back In 86
      • Possee Rap
      • 1985 & All That
      • To Live & Die In Leicester
      • Shaven Haven
      • The Wonder (Stuff) Years
      • Deaf Dumb & Plumb
      • Icewash & Sad Rags
      • Shockers On Sunday
      • Saturday
      • Big Backside
      • Proud
    • The Fingolstones Sell Out >
      • The Fingolstones Sell Out - A Critique
      • Crackwhore
      • W.A.G
      • Pale Blue Dream Machine
      • Salty Nights
      • St Augustines Girls
      • Mr G
      • Striker (Not A Full Back)
      • We All Love Chez Vegas
      • Sad Old Queen
      • Holmewood Bound
      • In Da (Salty) Club
      • The Bird Wi Massive Tits
      • Dobba Stardust
    • Ballarse >
      • Ballarse - A Critique
      • Daz's Pants
      • The Dawdog
      • Frisky In The Bar
      • 8 Pints
      • The Ballad Of Booga Benson
      • Writing Songs (No One Wants To Hear)
      • Jimmy Savile Never Loved Me
      • Jamie
      • Biggie
      • Goth Girl
      • Clearly Something
      • Group 2 Song
    • The Age Of Aquarius >
      • The Age Of Aquarius a Critique
      • 20th Century Forbidden Love
      • Don't You Want Me (2020 Redux)
      • The Charmer Of The Salty
      • Lightweight Lager Lad
      • Lucy
  • Photo Gallery
  • A To Z
    • A - B
    • C - D
    • E - H
    • I - L
    • M - P
    • Q - T
    • U - Z
Picture
Dobba - Vocals
Daz - Vocals
Norbert - Vocals, Drums, Bass, Keys
Limahl - Vocals
Tyree Cooper - The Producer
Picture

This track was originally planned to include more verses. Drafts were written but the sheer length of the first three forced a rethink by the band. The studio tapes were still running and during the mastering of the tapes a faint conversation could be heard in the background. Audio enhancement technology has been used and that long ago conversation recovered and transcribed.


Norbert “I’ve started working on the lyrics for verses 4 and 5”
Dobba “Seriously no one listens to this shite anyway, what’s the point”
Daz “I agree, let’s go to the pub”
Dobba “Good idea first rounds on me”
Norbert “But I’m a lyrical master, the fans deserve this”
Daz “Admit it you sad twat, we haven’t got any fans you only do this cos you don’t want to grow up”
Norbert “Hmm true, mines 8 pints of shandy”

​
Here are those lost lyrics. Who knows how long this crap would have gone on for if they’d committed them to tape.

I’m fat man Bunny I eat lots of pies
The bitches all love me for my massive size
Me bellys so fat the biggest you seen
You can bounce upon it like a trampoline



Now the ladies all know me I’m Deano Plumb
I likes me bitches deaf and dumb
When I talks to the ladies they gets excited
When I tells em I plays for Man Utd



And in Sports news Saltergate Club have injury problems ahead of this Sundays bottom of the table clash with Ashgate Croft reserves. Currently on the treatment table are Andy Bunting (hands), Mark Jones (Ego) and Andrew Fox (ankle, knee, thigh, calf, hamstring, shin, toe, back and barnet)


I’m MC Charmer, used to live at Old Whitt
Me Schmutters shocking and me barnets shit
The ho’s all love me gap toothed grin
Me crooked nose and me dodgy pin
I’m really into this fashion lark
Me clothes are all made by Paul and Shark
I’m nearly 70 or so I’m told
But I like to dress like a 20 year old
People dis me say me schmutters shite
Me jeans too baggy and me trainers too white
I can’t help being a fashion icon
So turn up the bass and switch the mic on
I spends all me cash on brand new threads
When I was young I had me hair in dreads
No one believes me but it’s true
I looked like that twat from Kajagoogoo
Me be’atch is Rachel she loves me lips
She likes to feed me chicken and chips
I likes to stroke her little pussy
That’s her cat called Willow, she aint no hussy
I goes down the Salty and plays lots of pool
With me spiky hair I looks real cool
I don’t take Rachel cos she’s too bossy
I just chills out wi mi Salty possee


Crowd trouble broke out at todays F.A Cup 3rd round tie between Aston Villa and Chesterfield. Police are hunting a short tubby youth wearing an A.hat and a Stone Island Jacket. He was last seen looking confused and beating himself up whilst shouting “come on where’s your lads”.


Yo I’m John T Lawson, me boys call me Laws
I likes faytin and dirty whores
Crusin round town makes me feel harder
Bangin out tunes from me Fiat Strada
I likes bustin heads when I watch the Villa
Don’t dis me cos I’m a mutha fuckin killa
I’m a patriotic geezer a real top man
I’m in the BNP and I’m an England fan
The feds won’t let me cross the national border
It contravenes me football banning order
Come on losers where’s your lads
Don’t fuck with me or I’ll kick you in the nads
I like to get pissed like to get merry
I wear Stone Island and lots of Burberry
Don’t call me no pussy don’t call me fat
Don’t take the piss out of me A.hat
Don’t fuck with me you aint got no class
I’ll get me Uzi pop a cap in yo ass
I used to be a butcher worked for Dewhurst
Ate so many pies that me belly nearly burst
I used to be tubby now I’m much thinner
I don’t eat as many burgers for me dinner
Don’t mess with me don’t gi mi no sass
Or I’ll stick my mutha fucking foot in yo ass
Me best mate Bones used to have me in stitches
Crusin round town lookin for bitches
But dem bitches were no good far to mardy
They used to call us Laurel and Hardy
Don’t fuck with me you mutha fuckin whores
No one messes with Jonah and Laws


Police and Trading Standards today conducted a major raid at the home of a Mr Mark Jones. A spokesman said “todays raid has dealt a significant blow against the illegal trade in fake clothing, over 200 items of counterfeit Burberry, Stone Island and Ice Wash have been recovered. In total the haul is worth at least £2.50.


Yo big it up there I’m Marky Jones
Me best mates Laws and he calls me bones
Some folk say I’m a real nutter
But they come to me when they want fake schmutter
In HMP Donny I did sum time
Smackin me bitch up was me crime
Me XR2I I loved the most
But got pissed and crashed into a lamppost
I wear gold earrings one in each ear
But that don’t make me no mutha fuckin queer
I used to have a bitch her name was Claire
Then one night she came creeping up the stair
Caught me in bed with another ho
Knelt down on me giving me a blow
The bitch went mad and then of course
She served me papers and we got a divorce
To watch Sunderland I’d go the extra mile
But I don’t like the Welsh so aint going to Carlisle
Used to have a crib in the Birdholme ghetto
Bought jeans from Gills market and food from Netto
Now I have me base in a Newbold area
It’s not like Birdholme that’s much scarier.


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.