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Vocals - Norbert
Guitar - Brian May Bass - John Deacon Drums - Roger Taylor |
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Foxy, The Charmer, The Chancer, Andrew Fow or Andrew Foy. Call him what you like it matters not. When you are the most desirable man on earth (to the ladies that is) a name is meaningless. As any long term or casual fan of the Fingolstones knows he is the rock upon which the Fingolstones exist. Without his influence there would be no band, no music, no songs, nothing. Unfortunately this did lead to a contract being put out on him in the early 1990’s. A mysterious cartel led by a shady character known only as “El Gofto” offered a bounty of £57.30 and a bar of Kendal Mint cake to anyone who could “take him out”. El Gofto reasoned that without his physical presence on the planet the Fingolstones would be forced to write songs about something, anything else.
However due to the badly written and ambiguous meaning of the words of the contract queues of excitable young teenage girls began to gather outside Foxys love shack eager to “take him out” on a date. El Gofto was incensed and took himself off for a long weekend in the Lake District to cool off. So the legend lived on and The Fingolstones penned their latest but by no means last tribute to their illustrious former band mate and muse. As for El Gofto, he remains a man of mystery. There was a suspected sighting of him in Newcastle in the mid 1990’s but it turned out to be just his coat which El Gofto had loaned to a bloke called Kevin. |
He keeps his Kouros and Old Spice
In his bathroom cabinet He thinks he’ll wear Brut tonight Cos it gets the ladies wet He’s going down the Salty Club And then he’s going to the pub He’s meeting with the Possee To have a good time Budweiser, Holsten Pils He liked to wear deep blue Gills Extraordinarily tight He’s a sad old queen Oxy 10 and denture cream Dresses like he’s still a teen Guaranteed to pull a mare Anywhere Always out on the piss All the ladies want a kiss Get on this He drank lots of lager Which always kept his belly fat In conversation He spoke just like a common twat Met a lass in Acker Got a rash upon his knacker He’ll need a trip to clinic If it’s that way inclined Clothes came naturally from Your Price No they weren't very nice Icewash and Kick He’s a sad old git Barnet and schmutters shit Always looks like a tit Never worked a day in his life Too much strife Out on the pull he says I’m no fool Likes his ladies still at school He flashes them his gap toothed smile Makes the ladies run a mile We know he's a paedophile He's a sad old queen No toothpaste or Listerine His teeth are coloured mainly green Diamond earring in his ear Is he queer? See him walking down the street Kerb crawling like David Pleat Two club feet And a cauliflower ear And a broken nose And wooden leg 
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El Gofto’s coat, but where is El Gofto? If Arthur C Clarke still had his Mysterious World show they could do a whole episode on it.
