Vocals - Norbert
Guitar - Brian May
Bass - John Deacon
Drums - Roger Taylor

He keeps his Kouros and Old Spice
In his bathroom cabinet
He thinks he’ll wear Brut tonight
Cos it gets the ladies wet
He’s going down the Salty Club
And then he’s going to the pub
He’s meeting with the Possee
To have a good time

Budweiser, Holsten Pils
He liked to wear deep blue Gills
Extraordinarily tight

He’s a sad old queen
Oxy 10 and denture cream
Dresses like he’s still a teen
Guaranteed to pull a mare
Anywhere

Always out on the piss
All the ladies want a kiss
Get on this

He drank lots of lager
Which always kept his belly fat
In conversation
He spoke just like a common twat
Met a lass in Acker
Got a rash upon his knacker
He’ll need a trip to clinic
If it’s that way inclined

Clothes came naturally from Your Price
No they weren't very nice
Icewash and Kick

He’s a sad old git
Barnet and schmutters shit
Always looks like a tit
Never worked a day in his life
Too much strife

Out on the pull he says I’m no fool
Likes his ladies still at school
He flashes them his gap toothed smile
Makes the ladies run a mile
We know he's a paedophile

He's a sad old queen
No toothpaste or Listerine
His teeth are coloured mainly green
Diamond earring in his ear
Is he queer?

See him walking down the street
Kerb crawling like David Pleat
Two club feet

And a cauliflower ear
And a broken nose
And  wooden leg