Daz - Vocals, Glitter Ball
Norbert - Drums, Keys, Bass, Guitar

First I played up front
They said I was crap
So they put me in defence
I played at right full back
I
spent oh so many games
Staring sadly up the wing
Knowing if I got the chance
I could do my thing
But no, they said that’s fine
Stay where you are now
Don’t you cross the half way line
I could put a pin point cross in
Right on Ashtons head
And with my superior pace
I’d leave them for dead
Oh no no no
They just don’t care
I’m deadly with both feet
And I’m lethal in the air
I’m wasted in defence, should be up there in attack
Just let me have a go
Let me have a crack
Please please please

I can score goals
To play up front for Salty club
I’d walk over hot coals
I’ve got all my skills to show
I could probably turn pro
And I’ll score goals
I will score goals, hey hey
There’s no sense in leaving me
On the bench as sub
Because I could be
The hero of the Salty Club
I spent oh so many games
Running lonely up the line
I used to cry
But I’d hold that flag up high
So now now now
Give me the ball
And then I’ll run em ragged
I’ll go past em all
I’ll score goals in 2’s and 1’s
I’ll score hattricks just for fun
But oh I know they just don’t care
And you know it’s just not fair
I’m a striker
Not a full back
All the goals I’d score
Could save Lawson from the sack
I had to watch Jonah and Plummy try to cheat
And Simon Hampton try
To clear the ball with his two club feet
But no no no
They made me stay
Way back in our own half
Their goal was miles away
I’ve got all these goals to score
And defendings such a chore
Cos I score goals
Yes I score goals

But no they went
Showed me the door
Ian Ashton threw me out
Said I’m not welcome anymore
They said I wasn’t good enough
For the Salty Club
Theres no way I’d ever start
I’d be lucky to make sub
But yes I know
I will score goals
As long as I know how to shoot
Between those 2 white poles
I’ve got all these shots to shoot
With my trusty Puma boots
And I’ll score goals
I will score goals
I will score goals