First I played up front
They said I was crap So they put me in defence I played at right full back I spent oh so many games Staring sadly up the wing Knowing if I got the chance I could do my thing But no, they said that’s fine Stay where you are now Don’t you cross the half way line I could put a pin point cross in Right on Ashtons head And with my superior pace I’d leave them for dead Oh no no no They just don’t care I’m deadly with both feet And I’m lethal in the air I’m wasted in defence, should be up there in attack Just let me have a go Let me have a crack Please please please I can score goals To play up front for Salty club I’d walk over hot coals I’ve got all my skills to show I could probably turn pro And I’ll score goals I will score goals, hey hey There’s no sense in leaving me On the bench as sub Because I could be The hero of the Salty Club I spent oh so many games Running lonely up the line I used to cry But I’d hold that flag up high So now now now Give me the ball And then I’ll run em ragged I’ll go past em all I’ll score goals in 2’s and 1’s I’ll score hattricks just for fun But oh I know they just don’t care And you know it’s just not fair I’m a striker Not a full back All the goals I’d score Could save Lawson from the sack I had to watch Jonah and Plummy try to cheat And Simon Hampton try To clear the ball with his two club feet But no no no They made me stay Way back in our own half Their goal was miles away I’ve got all these goals to score And defendings such a chore Cos I score goals Yes I score goals But no they went Showed me the door Ian Ashton threw me out Said I’m not welcome anymore They said I wasn’t good enough For the Salty Club Theres no way I’d ever start I’d be lucky to make sub But yes I know I will score goals As long as I know how to shoot Between those 2 white poles I’ve got all these shots to shoot With my trusty Puma boots And I’ll score goals I will score goals I will score goals |