Norbert - Vocals, Guitar, Drums

---

He went on a trip with his lover Michelle
They stayed in a really quite nice hotel
They drank lots of lager and whiskey and wine
They were both having a really nice time
When they got tired they went to their beds
And snug in their duvet they rested their heads
She’ll she dreamed sweet dreams of Dave’s tender kiss
Boog he awoke bosting for a piss

In the dark of the room he stumbles around
In his drunken state the toilets not found
In sheer desperation he opens the door
And finds himself naked in the corridor
Worried at getting stranded outside
He used an old teabag to wedge the door wide
But the drunken old fool soon found out that
The weight of the door just squashed the bag flat

Stuck in the open with nowhere to go
He’s starting to panic and time seems to slow
His mind is trying to make sense of this
And worst of all he still needs a piss

His bladder is bursting he’s feeling red hot
He relieves himself in a nearby plant pot
But the scruffy drunk bastard his aim is piss poor
And he leaves a puddle all over the floor
He’s still feeling groggy he’s still feeling drunk
He puts an old pizza box over his junk
Then wanders around like a man possessed
Wishing that he had took time to get dressed

His room door is locked he feels mortified
He forgets that Michelle is sleeping inside
He now needs to find somewhere else to go
His arse and small helmet are both now on show
He hears a noise away to his right
A lady is gasping at this bizarre sight
The girl is terrified clearly in shock
It’s lucky the pizza box covers his cock

Boog is embarrassed his cheeks are all red
He wishes that he was back in his bed
Then his room door opened Michelle stood there mad
Clipped him round the ear called him a bad lad
I can’t believe that you have the nerve
To flash at young women you dirty old perv
She slapped him hard his face was red raw
She made him sleep on the bedroom floor

He woke the next morning he felt really shite
He couldn’t remember what he did last night
He scratched his nadgers and got quite a shock
Could feel a strange lump on the end of his cock
He started to panic at what it might be
A tumour a boil on even VD
He started to work himself into a state
He prayed that they wouldn’t have to amputate
With trembling hands he took hold of his pole
And prayed that it wasn’t a cancerous mole
He had a quick look and he felt really daft
There was a piece of pepperoni stuck to his shaft

It could only happen to Booga
It could only happen to Mr B
It could only happen to Benson
It would never happen to you and me

t could only happen to Booga
It could only happen to Mr B
It could only happen to Benson
It would never happen to you and me

Booga in one of his more sober moments.