Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Drums - Norbert

There was nothing the Possee liked more than ending a Satdi neet rarnd tarn with a trip to the Avenue public house. 
It would be even better if that trip to the Avenue ended in a pull and a trip to the Brad followed by a quick knee trembler round the back at chucking out time.

Of course this was the exception rather than the rule and nights in the Avenue usually ended in disappointment and staring longingly at the Stuffies lasses as they were pulled by the Stuffies lads with their textbook barnets and schmutter.
The truth of course was that for the Possee the Stuffies lasses that frequented the Avenue were all out of their league. The Avenue was indeed a haven for the top totty of the day, totty that the Possee had two hopes of getting near. The Charmer was the exception to the rule as his dashing good looks attracted the under age girlies like flies round shit, either that or the Charmer was the first known user of Rohypnol.

This song then was written to celebrate those bygone days and tells of how an unnamed young man has his heart broken by a gem as he turns on the charm. The unnamed young man could be anyone really but it's most likely Jonah as he was usually the only only one who would have the sheer nerve to approach women that were out of his league (that's probably about 99% of the female population).

The song itself is short but sweet and is based around "The Man Who Sold The World" by David Bowie although of course the Fingolstones version is far superior. Norberts vocals are some of the most melodic he has ever produced (although that's not saying much) and the song has proven to be a fan favourite.

The Avenue is sadly no longer with us. The building is now occupied by a Chinese restaurant. However it is said that if you listen really hard whilst eating your chicken chow mein you can still faintly hear the sounds of early 90's Indie classics  and the occasional ghostly cry of "get the Pils in Ballarse" drifting in the still night air.


STOP PRESS.
After failing miserably as a Chinese Restaurant, most likely due to the above mentioned ghosts, The Avenue has returned to its roots. It is now The White Swan PH, its name prior to becoming The Avenue. A fine real ale boozer it is too. However the glory days of the late 80's early 90's Avenue are unlikely to ever return. Boo Hoo.

I met her in the Avenue
She was fit and god she knew
I couldn't help but stare 
At her massive pair

And it came as no surprise
She also had nice thighs
I thought she was a to
A total text book gem

Oh god they're huge
Her lovely threpenny bits
I'm face to face
With the bird wi massive tits

I smiled and took her hand
Asked her to the Brad
She looked at me real strange
Called me fuckin sad
I tried but could not talk
I gazed upon her norks
They were so big and round
And firm and just the job

I have to give
Me helmet lots of tugs
When I think of
The bird wi massive jugs

She's top o range
Now let me be frank
I wish that she'd
Give me a tit wank.

For those of you with taste David Bowie sings his original version (not as good as ours is it, ho hum).