The Fingolstones Firemen
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    • The Age Of Aquarius >
      • The Age Of Aquarius a Critique
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The Charmer was born in the back of a Reliant Robin in March 1924. His formative years were spent admiring the pop stars of his youth and most of all their vast array of barnets. After experimenting unsuccessfully with the "Flock of Seagulls" barnet he found his first true barnet in 1983 with the "Kajagoogoo". This sent him on a life long quest in search of the ultimate barnet. something he still pursues to this day.

The Charmers dashing good looks and Gap toothed grin made him phenomenally successful with the ladies. He was asked to join the Fingolstones in 1990 at the same time "Daz" Shields joined the band. It was thought that his rugged good looks would help the band break into the all important teen market, after all his success with underage girls was legendary. However his incredible vocal talents and devilishly handsome features did not really fit in with the rough edged convention challenging image that the band was aspiring to. The intention was to appeal to the teen audience whilst at the same time sticking to their roots of hard hitting sometimes controversial lyrics. Sadly The Charmers winning smile did not gel with this direction the band were taking.
He did however contribute the classic "AAAAAAAYYYYYYY" lyric to "The Foxy Rap".

Jealousy began to take hold within the band as The Charmer constantly copped off with groupies leaving the other band members seething with envy. It was one thing to bring in an enigmatic front man (something not seen since the Booga days) but quite another to have him get all the blivett.
Much the same as Booga the demon drink also took its hold and the Charmer began to go on regular drinking binges, sometimes going out Friday, Saturday AND Sunday nights. There was no way the other band members could keep up with this excess and the inevitable parting of the ways soon came. When he was told his services were no longer required he simply replied "Ayyyyy Yer kiddin".

Being sacked from the band hit The Charmer hard, he immediately gave up his womanising and settled down with wife Raquel. This didn’t last and after discovering the delights of Tinder and POF he set out on a quest to date a lass from every County in the UK. The internet would crash each time The Charmer uploaded a new profile as bored housewife’s and giggling schoolgirls country wide tried desperately to be swiped right. Eventually though even a man with the sexual appetite of a 70’s porn star has to settle down. Incredibly this led to him tracking down (stalking) his childhood (well she was a child) sweetheart Bulgie. They are now inseparable and were recently crowned selfie takers of the year 2019. The boozing however continued and nowadays he even goes out drinking on a Thursday as well.


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The Semi-Curtains barnet.
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The Mcfly / Westlife barnet.
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The Slight Quiff and Side Parting barnet.

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The Glued and Pasted barnet.

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The Swept Back Flyaway barnet.

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The "Plugged Himself Into The Mains" barnet.

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The Council Lawnmower barnet.
Styled by Iggy.


The Charmer tries to look modest after one of his barnets appears in the national press. 

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A typical day on The Charmers yacht, as he wonders where to start.

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The Charmer on the pull, photo taken around 1989 outside The Avenue.
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