The Foxy Rap is of course a tribute to the mighty sex appeal of The Charmer. At the time of writing he was at the height of his sexual prowess and no woman was safe from his clutches. Of course when I say woman what I actually mean is young girls aged up to and around 16. He had quite a fan club at this time including the eponymous "Dirty Kate", Jenny Clixby and most famously "Bulgie" or as Nessie called her "Budgie". Bulgie was famous for her large chest and bulging eyes and incessant pursuit of the Charmer.
Dirty Kate was used for this song simply becasue it scanned better than the others.
The song adopts a rather unique format for a Fingolstones Song. The lead vocal is shared between Dobba, Daz and Norbert who take it in turns to sing a line each. The song then culminates in the classic AAAYYYYY!! line uttered by the man himself, The Charmer.
Dobba takes keyboards and Norberts psychedelic guitar chords give the song a late sixties type sound that Pink Floyd would have been proud of.
When The Charmer began to romance Dirty Kate it was an absolute goldmine for the Possee as her surname has Hayes. This of course meant a seemless link into the Charmers catchphrase of AAYYYYYY!!. Oh what merriment and mirth.
Eventually all the Charmers entourage reached the age of 17 and at this point he lost all interest in them. Dirty Kate became a nun, Jenny Clixby a missionary and Bulgie a pole dancer. Three young lives ruined by the rejection of their hero. What a bastard!.
The legend that is Charmer.
Said Foxy in the Club one night
I'm gonna find a bird
I want one thats sixteen years old
And won't call me a turd
I want one to love me for what I am
And not for how I look
I want one thats just the job
Off first page of the book
We said Foxy you've got to hopes
She'll have to be ugly and fat
And even if she aint
She'll have to be blind as a bat
So Foxy went out on the pull
He put on his best Schmutter
He glued and pasted his barnet back
He looked a real nutter
Inspiration, Golden Fleece
Joplins and Crooked Spire
He went round the pubs all night long
Of his quest he didn't tire
Come half past ten he still hadn't trapped
So he went to get some food
When a young girl caught him by the arm
And said "get on this you hunky dude"
She said her name was Dirty Kate
She thought he was the best
She wanted him to be her man
To be her long term nest
He walked her to the bus stop
It was about a mile
She said "kiss me Andy darling"
And Foxy gave a smile
She screamed in terror she gasped with shock
And then she ran away
She left him there all on his own
And all he could say was
Yer kiddin, wonderstuff, bollocks Aayyyy, spiders,tighten your belt, can't miss gems over there, can't miss you dirty whore, any faytin, stabarse