Guitar - Dobba
Guitar & Vocal - Norbert
Vocals - Daz
Vocals - Charmer
Two new band members, Daz and The Charmer, took the stage for the first time with this song. Daz the new singer and Charmer there to make the tea.
This song could have been one of the all time classic Fingolstones hits. Unfortunately the poor production values let it down somewhat. Daz's vocals at times are out of kilter with the way Norbert originally intended it to be sung (Norbert now wishes he had sung the song and not Daz) and he also had no idea when to actually start singing. He had to be prompted to begin by Norbert and thus the classic line "just sing the f*****g song ball teeth" can be heard during the songs intro. This track also see's Norbert returning to his Guitar playing best. An old guitar was lying around the studio (Dobba's living room) that only had one string (the thick one at the top). Norbert discovered that by twanging it he could get some sort of tune out of it and thus it can be heard twanging in the background adding a raw edge to the bands sound. Unfortunately the string soon snapped and this unique sound was never heard again on a Fingolstones record. Despite all the problems the song retains a certain charm and the theme is as relevant today as it was back then.
It is essentially a song about Chav Birds and how easy it was/is to pick them up for an evening’s entertainment. Birdholme is a suburb of Chesterfield and home to most of Chesterfields Chavs. At the time of writing the song all the women of Birdholme were called Sharon and all the men were called Darren or Wayne. Nowadays it is mainly Britneys and Ryans. Birdholme and its close neighbours St Augustines and Grangewood are not the most salubrious of neighbourhoods and this is reflected in some of the characters that can be found there.
There is a certain element of truth in the lyrics too, in that former stalwart Booga actually went out with a bird from St Augustines and she was called Sharon. St Augustines didn't scan well so she became Sharon from Birdholme instead.
Also mentioned in the song is the "Acker". This was a notorious nightclub called The Aquarius. The Acker was the place to be in the late 80's to pick up blivett. The lasses weren't fussy and the ale was cheap. It had two sides, the disco and the cabaret. The cabaret side hosted great names of the day such as Bernard Manning and Showaddywaddy and on occasion would be opened up to the disco scum once the entertainment had finished. It had booths to sit in and was quieter than the disco side ideal for charming the young lady you had just picked up on the dance floor. Alas the Acker is no more and is now a health club. A Chessie institution much missed.