Andrew "Andy" Farnsworth
When it came to women Andy was the king of the AHC. During the few short years of the AHC Andy either went out with or copped off with ALL the AHC girls. This may have been due to the fact that he was actually a lot more mature than the other lads. For example he had a proper job and was earning money whereas the rest of the lads were existing on pocket money and paper rounds. Unfortunately Andy was also a true lothario and broke the hearts of all the girls and as a result had many drinks thrown over him. Eventually after many years of trying he has finally decided to live the batchelor life and now no longer has to wear waterproof jumpers.
When it came to women Andy was the king of the AHC. During the few short years of the AHC Andy either went out with or copped off with ALL the AHC girls. This may have been due to the fact that he was actually a lot more mature than the other lads. For example he had a proper job and was earning money whereas the rest of the lads were existing on pocket money and paper rounds. Unfortunately Andy was also a true lothario and broke the hearts of all the girls and as a result had many drinks thrown over him. Eventually after many years of trying he has finally decided to live the batchelor life and now no longer has to wear waterproof jumpers.
 As a youngster Andy was a Ginger.
He is now more of a Strawberry Blonde. |
 When it came to Shocking Barnets Andy could give the Charmer a run for his money.
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Roy Frisby.
Roy was probably the Spireites number one fan back in the 80's. He ran the fan club and the away travel and regularly massaged Brian Scrimegeours bad knee (allegedly). His most famous moment came during a football trip to Scotland when he attempted to demonstrate his super powers by leaping a river in a single bound. Unfortunatley he misjudged his leap and broke his ankle. Not funny (well a little bit).  Roy models for the blow up doll with real hair.
Paul "Goffy" Gofton
Goffy was asked to join the Fingolstones during their early days but insisted he was above such things. 20 years down the line and he still doesn't regret it. To be honest he was never cut out for the rock n roll lifestyle anyway, for example until the age of 30 the harshest swear word he ever uttered was "golly" and he would on many occasions join in the mad drinking sessions which were part and parcel of the Fingolstones life and drink nothing stronger than coke. However beneath the seemingly respectable public facade Goffy was in fact leading a double life. He was a well known face on the underground club circuit as a solo performer in his own right. His act being a cross between Sid Vicious and Rolf Harris. Unfortunately he only knew one song, "Delilah" and this he performed in the style of his favourite band "Sly Fox". After years of singing the same song the crowds turned on him and he became a desperate Crack addict. He now works for Nat West.  The night Goffy tried alcohol for the first time.
 Goffy performs "Delilah" using his stage name "Rolf Vicious"
 Stoned out of his head Goffy misses with the crack pipe.
Goffy performing “Delilah” live, Tenerife 1995.
Rachel Hall.
One of Boogas many conquests during his lothario phase. It is rumoured that he finished with her after an unfortunate accident involving his fly zip and her dental brace.  Rachel tries hard to conceal her brace by grimacing instead of smiling.
Claire Hunt
Drippy Hippy good time girl Claire was an early favourite of both Dobba and Norbert. Both considered losing their virginity to her but never actually had the bottle to suggest it to her. Would she have even agreed to such a brazen request, sadly now we will probably never know. Dobba saw her quite recently working in a book shop ... now believed to be working as a primary school teacher in the Chesterfield area.  Unfortunately no pictures of the real Claire Hunt are available so you'll have to make do with this Hippy Bird instead. Sadly the real Claire wasn't this good looking.But hey how many oil-paintings have you seen in this gallery so far?
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Jenny Fry.
One of the founder members of the AHC and also Dobbas first ever proper bird (later Norberts). Jenny was so inoffensive and lovely that the lads just couldn't bring themselves to demean her by putting her in one of their horrible songs, (although she did appear many years later after the band reformed). Jenny had an incredible power over the men in her life, she was the catalyst for the infamous cream bun incident (see Jez Lowe for more details).  The famous "Bee Dress"
Tracey Gill
Early object of lust for Norbert, was destined not to be. Luckily for him she's not worn well.  Not worn well.
William "Bill" Gratton.
Bill was always an AHC wannabee, although he would never admit it. It was he who coined the phrase "Arsehole Club" and for that he can be justly proud. He did attend the odd meeting where he would invariably get drunk but was by no means a regular. He did actually hold an AHC party at his house once, co hosted by his good mate Plop Plop. Billy always thought himself above the level of the AHC but it was obvious to all that he really wanted to be a member and to join in the frequent girlfriend swapping that went on. He also kept chickens thus inspiring the song Lonesome Farmer Bill. Billy is currently on the verge of bankruptcy following a failed property deal.  Typical pose for Billy late 1980’s.
Forest shirt and can of lager. Lyndsey "The Gypsy Queen" Gregory.
Arsehole Club member Lyndsey was an early girlfriend of Iain "The Lonesome Cowboy" Davies. Famed for her Gypsyesque appearance. A Luvverly lass was our Lyndsey, always pleasant, never bitchy and Dobba had a bit of a crush on her. Alas it was unrequited love.  Lyndsey didn’t always have a
blurred face, only when drunk. Samantha Harrison.
Sam was the unrequited love of Fingolstone Daz and sister of Gwegory. She was Daz's dream woman and he would have done anything for just one look or kind word from her. Alas it wasn't to be and despite stalking her to the verge of obsession Daz eventually had to concede defeat. The restraining order she placed on him didn't help either.  Sam was always Daz’s dream woman. She used to dream about him too only her dreams were called nightmares.
Joanne Hodgson
Without Joanne there could have been no Arsehole Club. For she lived in the big house in Queens Park which was ideal as an AHC clubhouse and she was the girlfriend of Iain Davies and thus an introduction into the world of girls for the lads. Following the afternoon pre meets outside Martins the AHC would reconvene in the park and stay behind after the gates were closed to the general public. Many happy hours spent playing football ensued. Both Norbert and Andy went on to have relations with her following her break up with Iain. Last heard of living in Cheltenham.
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Gregory "Gweg" Harrison.
After fleeing his home country of Kent as a child he was refused refugee status in Northampton and was eventually granted asylum in Chesterfield. Somehow he ended up living in the posh part (Walton). Tourettes sufferer Greg frequently embarrassed his friends when in polite company with his constant tirade of foul mouthed expletives. A talented footballer he was yet another who indulged rather to heavily in the booze, especially his favourite, a brand of Cider known simply as "Looney". As a result he is now the proud owner of a massive beer belly and living in a shed somewhere just outside Whaley bridge.
After fleeing his home country of Kent as a child he was refused refugee status in Northampton and was eventually granted asylum in Chesterfield. Somehow he ended up living in the posh part (Walton). Tourettes sufferer Greg frequently embarrassed his friends when in polite company with his constant tirade of foul mouthed expletives. A talented footballer he was yet another who indulged rather to heavily in the booze, especially his favourite, a brand of Cider known simply as "Looney". As a result he is now the proud owner of a massive beer belly and living in a shed somewhere just outside Whaley bridge.
 Gweg after 2 pints of Loony.
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 Fashion never was at the top of Gwegs agenda.
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Andy “Chippy” Holmes
Chippy is well known for having his head on upside down and also suffers from that increasingly rare condition “Wednesdayitis”. Sufferers of this condition become delusional and believe, lord knows why, that Sheffield Wednesday are still a “big club”. The only known cure is a dose of B2Net but Chippy has so far resisted this. There is just no hope for some folk. Once whilst playing football for Saltergate Club F.C he said to the ref, who was knelt down tying his shoelaces, "while you're down there", he was promptly booked. Chippy was most put out by this as he was actually being serious and fancied his chances.  Chippy, on the right, with his boyfriend.
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Simon “Nobby” Hampton
Together with Norbert they formed the legendary rock solid central defensive partnership for the Saltergate Club F.C. Known affectionately as “Dumb & Dumber” Saltergate Club never lost a game in which these 2 both played (that’s a lie).  Nobby often wished he could live the millionaires lifestyle, sadly for him this is never likely to happen.
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