Dobba - Vocals
Norbert - Vocals 

Following the release of "The Ballad of Sara and Goffy" the Fingolstones made a dangerous enemy in Sara Vaughan. She vented her spleen by writing a poem about the lads with the intention of hammering home to them just what a pair of gits they were. Sadly for her the lads loved the poem and following a recording session in 1987 they performed an acapella version of the song for their own amusement. In later years they often wished that they had set it to music and done a proper job as it was really quite good. The band would like to take this opportunity though to put the reader right on a few facts that may be not quite as Sara saw them. So what follows is the lyrics for the poem/song, with notes written by Norbert alongside either correcting or clarifying some of the relevant comments. Thank you.

N.B Unfortunately this song no longer exists in a useable form, so you can't listen to it. 

THE LYRICS 

Here is a tale about Dobba and Lee
Who once wrote a song about Goffy and Me
Now it’s our turn to laugh and have fun
At just what they are and the things that they've done.

On to Lee's dress sense just 3 things to say
It's awful it's foul it's all pink and grey
Except for his jeans which are actually light blue
His jumpers still pink and his lovely tie to.

Dobba however prefers puffy grey boots
However how sadly he can't afford suits
So its jacket sleeves rolled up and oh god he's cool
But it doesn't quite work with his blazer from school.

Lee must be hated by all far and wide
But you'll always find Dobba not far from his side
Dobba loves Lee from the depths of his heart
Sara you're just a little fat fart.

Kesters chin is like a bog brush gone wrong
If he misses a shave its 2 inches long
My bum might be big but his has took leave
His legs are to thin and his laugh makes you heave.

On to their love lives and Isaacs a hit
Cor what a beauty, god she's so fit
10th on Lee's pull list (11) and on Marks no 5 (8)
Her tongue at the discos did keep them alive.

God what a racket oh what a din
Nevertheless you sit with a grin
Dobba how nice do play it again
Guitar starts twanging as you fall to the floor.

Lee's nicknames are pigeon and Tarzan boy
He swings on the lampshades waiting for you
He once had a passion for a sweet 12 year old
He whipped out the blanket and starkers they rolled.

Hey Dobba what's that hanging out of your vest
My word it’s a hedgehog attached to your chest
Your nails are like razors at the end of your hand
In fact they're so lethal they oughta be banned.

A point to be made about Lee and his car
His fiver a week won't let him go far
I'm not a taxi service he often repeats
So at night he leaves you walking the streets

To the end of this tale we have now sadly come
About Dobba the freak and Lee who's a bum
With your arrogant attitudes you're really the pits
You nasty, immature, inconsiderate, obsequious, cowardly ignorant, insensitive pair of shits.

But we're so nice YEAHHH! 

THE TRUTH 

Correct.
The Ballad of Sara and Goffy of course.
Bring it on.
Could take a long time.

Come on it wasn't that bad.
I object, I also had a nice yellow jumper.
No actually, I also had some deep blue ones as well.
I really loved that tie.

She's right they were rather gay.
Who wears a suit when they're 17?
A'la Miami Vice.
Hmm that is true.

I object, where's your evidence.
Not quite true, I always preferred the company of chicks.
Despite his boots he wasn't gay.
Dobbas words these, obviously. No idea what the originals were.

Dobba couldn't help it if he had stubble.
Exaggeration.
Your bum was massive, not just big.
Ay what ?

Isaac being Claire Hunt, Isaac Hunt, geddit?
She was alright for a knock.
Ha what did she know about our pull list numbers.
Only a couple of occasions, more exaggeration.

Refers of course to Dobbas guitar playing, my singing was superb.
Some people liked it.
See.
P**s poor rhyme there duck, please try harder.


Can't recall ever being called Tarzan Boy? Doesn't rhyme either.
Or swinging from lampshades.
Hmm not really true that one.
She was actually 16 before this happened.

Always been hairy has our Dob.
More like a porcupine.
He plays guitar of course they're long.
So should your arse.

Not my car, my dads.
A lot of money in them days.
Correct, I didn't have a private hire licence.
You'd have been good at that, could have made some money.

That's probably true.
Thanks.
Is that a compliment ?
Sums it up nicely.



We put that bit in, rounds it off well don't you think?